I have felt your presence.....

It has been quite a nice couple of days. The spirit has been such a strong companion the past couple of days. I have felt your presence and know you are near. I can not explain it, but I am grateful for it. It has been like you are trying to tell me something, I have yet to figure out what it is, but since I have started working on this blog you are nearer. Maybe I am supposed to get a message out or just learn how to write down my feelings for my future generations. What ever the case maybe, I have enjoyed the feelings. Only Megan, my youngest sister, dad, and Sunnie know about this blog. Sunnie is really getting into photography and is getting excited to use her new program when I am not hogging it. Photography is something she has wanted to do for a long time, and now she is getting the chance. She wants to take pictures of your two new grand daughters. We know you are on the other side now talking with them and preparing them to come down here. How blessed are they for this time they are spending with you. It gives me the tingles just thinking about it. Mary Anns little girl will be glad to share of your love and spirit with her and the rest of their family. Megan, I know, thinks of you often, as we all do. The knowledge that Megan has carries her through many a tough times. Heather and her boys. They too will love the extra love you send down from above. Me, I know you are near and watching. Tomorrow is Bridgers track meet. Remember a year ago you and dad came over to IF and watched him at the meet. He was so sad that he didn't perform as well as he had in the past. He wanted to please you, dad, mimi, and papa. Some day he will know how proud of him you were. He is such a sports perfectionist. We know you will be there watching him tomorrow. We look forward to having you there. He will feel you there too. I remember you going to my track meets when I was a kid, it seems like just yesterday. You would stand in the bleachers and cheer for not just me, but for all my friends. I would look up at you and 9 out of 10 times you would have tears running down your cheeks. I never knew why you would cry, I am still not quite sure, but I am sure that you loved me and loved being there. You always seemed to enjoy the time you spent with us kids. The joy you would bring to others was amazing. You always had a way of making anyone you ever met feel like they were one of your best friends. You were mine. I play that "Families can be together" church video from time to time. Remember when you and I sat on the bed last fall and watched that together? I do. I look for those rainbows every time there is rain near.
I am grateful for the knowledge that families can be together forever. It makes this whole seperation thing more acceptable. The thought that I would never see you again, devastating. If I could not see my kids, could not see Sunnie again after death, that would break my heart. Sunnie is such a great person. I am truly blessed to be married to her, to have her love me, and to be the mother of our children. She is as her name is, Sunnie.
As the time passes, I try and find ways to remember and honor you. I truly think different now. I am more careful about what I say or what is said around me. Why? Because I know you are watching and listening. You always thought I was perfect, now you know I am far from. I want to be the boy you thought/think I am. I want to be better than I was.
It's time to hit the sack...... We have to get all the kids up early in the morning to get ready for the track meet. Bridger is excited, he is in 4 or 5 events. He is a fast little bugger. We will feel you there. Thanks again. Please continue to watch over us, we need it.

Love,

TB